Good Luck Guys | Extreme Insertion

Whoever says a pussy snaps back into place after sex involving extreme stretching must not have seen this. Good luck satisfying this babe boys. I wonder how many kids she has?

Midnight Masturbation & Shopping

It's 1:34 AM. I'm shopping and running into way too many ads and specials for lingerie, toys and an over abundance of red and black lace. Valentine's Day is around the corner and oddly enough all I can think of getting is a bouquet of fruit from Edible Arrangements. I don't know if you have one of these near you but can I just say how sinfully delish the chocolate covered fruit is. I know it's cliche but maybe there's a reason the same ideas sell so well every year about this time. They work. They, meaning anything related to superficial romance or love, make women feel appreciated and adored. That of course is pleasing to our senses which in turn is arousing, Hence the reason you boys generally get laid for Valentine's Day and I have my hand in my panties. Doing things to my extremely excited and wet erogenous zone my significant other can only dream about passed out upstairs in the bedroom. There will be regret for not staying up tonight after reading this in the morning. I just thought I'd share tonight. I have some two-handed "shopping" to do. Ciao!

Excersise Never Felt So Good | Homemade Sex Toy Thighmaster

Ok I know I have one of these Suzanne Somers Thigh Masters laying in the back of my closet. Buried under the secret stash of Ding Dongs and Twinkies of course! It's always an adventure taking a stroll over to the guys at Homemade Sex Toys to see what they've come up with to stick up your vajayjay. They aren't partial to women either. There's a few penis friendly apparatus over there too. I may just try this one. I wonder where Hubby keeps his tools. I only ever use the one.

I've Been Busy With Nothing

So how long has it been? Like a week! I finally have a minute to catch up and relax. Nothing's better than a little masturbation and writing to help relax me. Now that I'm done with that, I can get to the writing. I'm on hubby's laptop so I hope he doesn't mind the smell of pussy on his keyboard. Wonder if he'll notice. He loves this thing almost as much as me and the only reason I'm using it is because I told him I need it to watch my new "So you think you can squirt DVD". Can someone show me how to do this right?

I won't bore you all with what's been happening around here but who’s keeping up with the HBO series Cathouse:Season 2? I love this show! It takes place at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada and it is all sex, sex, sex. It is a legal brothel with whores, johns and video cameras! Hello! I mean why pay for access to these site I visit (my credit card is smoking). Again, I call for an uncensored version here. You listening HBO? Maybe Air Force Amy can teach me & hubby how to party with her?

So the men come in the door and select the girl that they want to be with and then are escorted to the girl's room. It's like their own room where they sleep. These girls live there and have a real dysfunctional family setting and are very close with one another. Like real life! There they negotiate what they will do with these guys, some regulars, and how much. When decided the madam comes and takes payment before the sex. These girls will have sex with anyone, male, female, gay, straight, couples. I have even seen father and son. They also spend a lot of time fucking each other. They use toys and share their techniques with one another. This is legit business and has been for more than 50 years.

Now, I'm a hairdresser and could probably make a killing going there once a week. My lord some of these babes need serious hair help. Maybe I could even get a little side job ;)

So I'll be a good girl and write some more this week. I owe at least one of you a story (true one at that) about "getting caught in the act". You know who you are! Ciao!

From Strawberries to Peaches

I had this craving for peaches today. I picked up some fresh peaches at the store and just devoured them much like my strawberries the other day. I don't know why but I have this insatiable craving for fruit and sex lately. Inevitably, I'm going to combine them in a much more pleasing way but I can't seem to get over the food thing in bed. Two of my all-time favorite activities, eating and sex. Now there's plenty to eat in my bed but I just never got around to actually digesting anything that wasn't white, creamy and a bit on the salty side. Any ideas on how to get naked and eat something off one another without making a complete mess and leaving crumbs? I need to loosen up tonight. Where's my coffee?

Strawberries & Cream

I love strawberries. Every little, red, succulent, juicy mouthful. I love the taste, smell, feel and tartness of them. Funny that's what my sweetie said about me today. Ok back to my fruity fetish. I make a killer strawberry kiwi salsa with homemade tortillas which I just love during the Summer months. Since it's so warm here in NY I had a craving for it. I didn't get that far though and only managed to slice two strawberries. Just as my knife cut through the second, the one in my mouth burst onto my tongue as I bit down and its flavor dispersed into my throat sending me on an immediate endorphin high.

My mouth puckered and the juices dribbled out onto my bottom lip. Gravity, like a horny old man, willed the pink, zesty drops down my cleavage. I quickly moved my white tank top aside and tucked it under my breast to keep it virgin white. Exposing my erect nipple for a cheap thrill I rubbed a cut strawberry onto it enjoying the coldness of the fruit on my bare tit. I lifted it to my mouth to lick the juices off and run my lips over my large areola pretending it was my lover's mouth suckling me to orgasm. My legs shuddered and I could feel my own creamy wetness start to flow.

I'll finish this off later with a good fingering and hopefully a filling of some salty cream to top off my sweet dessert.

Hungry For Some Myself

I guess my advice came in handy. 3, yes 3 of the 5 girls I spend my once a month estrogen fest with got some hot nasty sex THEIR way the other night after my little pep talk. I'm so proud of my budding sex addicts! See you later this weekend all with I'm sure a sexcapade of my own to tell.

Audio Slave

I just spent the better part of this evening fucking myself with my rotary dildo listening to anonymously submitted erotica. It was such a good, hard fucking orgasm I'm still wet and panting from squirting on myself. I love it when I get off on something new and this was such a good fuck I can't say it enough. My entire clit, lips and breasts are totally rock hard and aroused.

I found a great site, albeit not the prettiest by any means but certainly hot, called Literotica. A "free" site for adults with a lot of good content. I'm not sure what their definition of free is because plenty there was pay per view but anyway I didn't feel like getting up and I had my laptop and on the couch with me. Surfing away and reading my favorite daily blog feeds, I really don't know how I found this. Needless to say I bookmarked it.

I just finished listening to the audio section. I hope they keep this updated. It's like having phone sex on demand with strangers. I caught myself talking back to the callers I was so engrossed in it. Seriously, you have to try this. If you're tired of watching picture perfect porn, use your imagination a bit and play around listening to all the different callers. I'm so tempted to submit one of my own now. Ugh I love this I need more!

Rotary Dildos Oh My

Hey babies! I've finally opened one of the discreet boxes that miraculously showed up at my door over the weekend. I sat at my desk trying to figure out exactly how to use this one taking it from its pouch. From my friends at Glass Fantasy I received a Phallix Ribbed Rotary Dildo. A bit odd at first but this baby can please. I really don't twist or rotate my dildos when using them but you can't help but take this for a spin.

Since I had some time to myself, I wanted to give this a real workout. After a quick cleaning I was in business. While reading the latest smut at forthegirls.com, I could feel my nipples and clit hardening nicely. I unhooked my bra and let out my aching 38Ds. I propped my legs up on the corners of my desk, straddling my keyboard & mouse. I was reading about two men who were satisfying a cum craving, voluptuous woman doing double duty with their cocks in her hands ready to spurt their man juice all over her face. My mouth was wide open as I fantasized about slurping along with her. That's all the lube I needed today. With the glass in hand I moved it over my clit. I bypassed my external orgasm and inserted the small but heavy crystal cock into my swelling lips. The ribs felt nice sliding against my walls as I slowly rubbed it in and out. I was about to cum and grabbed the small, round shift knob attached to the end of my love toy now totally penetrating my pussy. I worked it around feeling each rib and nice bulbous head excite my spot even more. I squeezed a bit and clamped down with my thighs as I came hard squirting my juices into my hand and on my chair. Oh this is going to be a favorite for a long time. I like its perfect size; I got the clear 1.25 inch diameter shaft. The head is softly ribbed creating an incredible sensation on the g-spot as it spins. This is certainly going to be a nice addition to my toy chest and i highly recommend you get one for yourself or lover. If you fancy shiny, sparkled things, go for the gold flaked version. On the orgasm scale, a 9 out of 10.

"P" is for Pussy

It's not everyday you hear a woman say the word pussy. I mean if your not watching porn that is. It really doesn't come up in normal conversation that much and I'm sure men use it more than women ironically to refer to other men. You know how there are some words or names that just fit a person or thing? Like "Fred". Everybody knows a "Fred". The name implies a certain look and it just fits. Like pussy. It's the perfect word for it. It describes its softness, how wet, erotic, pink, secret it is. It's taste, smell and the way it feels in your fingers, on your mouth or even while penetrating it.

I was listening to a conversation between two women today. I don't usually do this but it was about sex so naturally I was interested. It was in a public place and it was obvious they didn't care who was listening. So, one woman says to the other "I hate the way my twat feels after sex with him". I was immediately disgusted. I'm really not sure why though. I guess her choice of words to describe her pussy was turning me off. But here's why I bring this all up - dirty words. I'm a "dirty girl" ;)



Taboo words we all use and love when fucking. Loud, hard and wet fucking. Why is it ok in bed but not in conversation? There are certainly words reserved for sex and fooling around and just not accepted in good company. So be it. I use a plethora of words to refer to my pussy when getting pleasured. There's literally hundreds - some cute like "butterfly" and "flower". Others are more innocent such as "private area". Some are less revealing; "hoo-haa" or "coochie". To each her own.

So I'm letting loose here since I'm feeling a bit loose tonight. Sort of my own "Vagina Monologue" and telling you I like my pussy. I like saying the word and love touching it. I love to have it touched even more. Pussy, pussy pussy!

Here's my list, in order of preference, of words that I use to refer to my vagina while touching it myself or having it touched: Pussy, twat, slit, hole, snatch and in very rare cases, dare I say it, cunt. Oh my the dreaded "C" word. The ultimate insult to any woman. Alas ladies and gentlemen, it's just a word. Not that I'm giving you permission to use it. It's almost sacred for me.

It's got to be a good fuck for me to moan and ask for my man to "fuck my cunt". I've been known to say it and it drives him crazy. Try it. Sometimes they need to be told how and what to do. It's that simple and usually goes over well. Take control and get off getting pleased. Liberating as hell when you tell your partner to fuck your pussy or better yet, your cunt.

Got another name for you pussy? Let me know! I'd love to hear it and try it out for myself. Calling your pussy something new shakes things up and adds a sense of newness to sex. But my favorite will always be my perfect precious "pussy".

This post brought to you by the letter P and the number 2 (the amount of times I just came writing this - good night!).

Bubbles & A Bang

Bubble bath, a glass of champagne (my preference, any beverage will do), candles and a waterproof vibrator (with an endless supply of batteries). I had an evening all to myself so what better way to spend it then to indulge and please my body?

I had this idea of spending a great evening in the bubbles when I realized the shower head I had wouldn't reach my pussy when I was laying in my tub. Bummer. Just then I realized I needed something that was lacking from my collection. A waterproof vibrator. I mean one I could totally submerge that wasn't going to let me down the next time I went to use it. So after a little research I found my Princess Dynamite.

I wasn't sure what to make of this vibrator when it arrived. It's obvious that it would be fantastic on my clit and around my pubic area. The top looks like a crown and I pressed it against my nipples and it felt great there too. I could tell right away however it wasn't what I was used to which of course made me want to use it more.



Ok, candles are lit, water is softly pouring out of the faucet into a nice hot tub of cotton candy scented bubbles. I undressed and left my robe on the floor and stepped into the tub. The heat from the water shot up my legs and back, making my body stiff but I soon relaxed and sat in the water. I could feel the bubbles tickle my pussy and ass as I sat in. Soon I had bubbles all around me as I sipped my champagne. At this point I was saying to myself, "Self, who do you think you are? This isn't you!" So with that I grabbed my breast and started rubbing my nipple. I'm not a romantic. I wanted to cum! What the hell was I in this freaking hot tub for?

Ok, Princess, let's see what you got. I pressed the 'on' button and started cycling through the countless (I think there's ten actually) settings. There's only two buttons, up and down. I found a setting my clit liked and I realized this pink stick of dynamite was going to be my best friend! The nubs feel like 5 fingers on my clit at once! I could see the dim red light shining up though the bubbles above my slit while I worked the Princess around my c-spot. I like to look as I pleasure myself so I brushed the bubbles away to see my clit erect and my lips pulsing with the water around them. I arched my back up to lift my pussy out of the water to feel the vibrations in the cold air and the sensation made me cum. I squeezed out every drop I could as my ass made its way back down into the tub.

I wasn't done of course but I was all wet and ready and didn't have another toy within reach. Because of her size I knew I could take the Princess even though the tip isn't exactly round. I found a softer setting and slowly inserted the bulbous head into my pussy. It slid right in after it did such as good job getting me as wet as it did even in the water. I fucked myself with my right hand pushing the Princess up farther each thrust. She's just the right size and her shape adds to the sensation inside me. The vibrator is strong enough to hit my g-spot too. After a few more strokes I grabbed my left breast and nipple while I braced myself for the underwater explosion. I don't usually cum as hard with a vibrator as I do with the real thing but this is amazing. The Princess came through and my evening ended with a 'bang'.

I take a lot of baths now needless to say. I can't say enough about the Princess. Small, discrete, pink and pleasurable.

Make Me Cum

Sorry about not posting yesterday but I was too busy cumming. I'm sure you will forgive me right? I had to try out this new product I got. If you could put ecstasy in a jar this would be it. Can I just tell you this cream has been one of the most unexpected surprises to hit my sheets in months. So there we are, fooling around and my man breaks out the Make Me Cum Clit Sensitizer cream. Just so you know, I really don't need this. Really. But it does add to the pleasure and anticipation of cumming - hard. Multiple times too.

I used very little at first and really didn't feel much but after the second fingertip hit my clit I felt the effects. It totally heightens the sensitivity of touch and temperature on your clit. It's not "hot" like other products but its definitely cooling. There's barely a scent and it's not greasy or sticky at all. I totally don't mind using it and for those of you who haven't experimented with lubrication products or stimulation creams, this is such a great start. It's only a 1/2 ounce jar but a little does last and I'm sure I will get plenty of mileage out of this first jar.

We both rubbed my clit gently for a few minutes and I easily came twice. It was very erotic and as I normally gently come to climax, the sensation was more intense with this. We played a little more, rubbing some on my nipples - highly recommended ladies - and my man enjoyed the sex more too as I did. Even if this doesn't have such an intense physical reaction on you, it adds to the excitement of adding something new to sex. Try it girls and tell your men to Make Me Cum. ;)

The Fukuoku Fingerator

I just came across this while surfing for masturbation techniques. I've never seen this product before but it looks pretty fun. The Fukouko Fingerator is a small plastic vibrating device that actually has a ring attached to it that fits over your index finger. It's not the prettiest thing I've had down there but I can totally see this giving me intense clitoral orgasms. Anyone have any experience with it?

The company looks like it's out of the UK and you know how much those Brits love their proper sex techniques! It must be good.

My iPod is Harder Than Your iPod

My girlfriend, who's technologically inept, decided she wanted an iPod. I'm no techno-phile but I have figured this one out for good reason. She picks it up, asks the basic questions; how to turn it on, etc. She plugs the ear buds in and roughly 10 minutes later decides she needs to go to the mall right away for one. I asked her what she was listening to. I'm figuring a good song right? We have the same taste in music so it must have been that. Well it turns out it was the last thing I was listening to.


...as he pressed his cock into my chest I could feel his hot balls thrusting into my cleavage and his huge load shoot from his cock straight onto my chin and rock hard nipples. As his jizz dripped down my breasts, he groaned and thrust his fingers deeper into my pussy as I shuttered and climaxed with him grinding my juices into his palm...

Embarrassing? Maybe at first but entertaining none the less! You want an iPod too huh? Not many people think of hardcore audio books as iPod content. Search for Erotica, Sex, Penthouse & Porn on iTunes under Audiobooks and Podcasts.

Most podcasts are free and updated regularly so there's a TON of great stories and erotica there. Audiobooks are usually a few bucks.

Next time your alone, bored with TV and out of magazines to read, download a new podcast and get busy. There's a sultry bedtime story waiting for you.
Off to bed...


PS - My girlfriend bought an 80 Gig video iPod. I haven't heard from her in 3 days.

Glass or plastic? Choose your dildo wisely.

Ok ladies, here's the lowdown on why you want a glass dildo as opposed to plastic. As much as plastic can be fun and just as stimulating, the only advantage I have found is that you can opt for a vibrating dildo (otherwise known as a vibrator) but that's really it.

Glass is where it's at. Literally. Shape, color and size aside because you can basically get glass dildos in all flavors these days glass (pyrex preferably) is so much more versatile. For one, glass doesn't absorb anything. It's easier to clean and is safer than plastic. It won't wear out and can last forever. Most are made from medical grade glass so they are chemical free unlike plastic or foam dildos. They hold their shape and are extremely durable. I also like the weight - they are easier to maneuver around and won't bend or collapse under quick thrusts.

Oh did I tell you they can be chilled or warmed up (depending on your fancy). Just be careful if you warm them. I suggest using warm water and letting the dildo sit in it for a few minutes until warm to the touch and NOT the microwave for obvious reasons. There are some truly beautiful designs, hand blown creations that I would even love to display! Hey you should try this. It's very trendy right now to decorate with erotic art. Displaying your favorite designer glass dildo on your dresser or nightstand would certainly spark some conversation!

Without having to worry about cleaning your glass dildo, a few passes of soap and water is fine, you can have more fun. I love the fact that they are smooth and non-porous.

My personal favorite I picked up a few months ago and can't get enough. Check out the Heartbreaker from my friends at Glass Fantasy. Its got hearts blinging with 24k gold flakes. What more can a dirty girl ask for? There's plenty to choose from and believe me you will be dripping to get home to your new toy. Get some lubricant too to spice it up a bit and of course invite a friend or two. Ok, I have to (come), if you know what I mean.